Be Loud and Proud!

I grew up with a very strong mother who reinforced that we could do anything we put our mind to. My children have been raised with the adage “Give it a go. Even if you fail you are still a winner because you gave it your best shot”. However, a commitment to having a shot also means you need to back yourself and understand that you may fail and to be resilient enough to pick yourself up if that happens. In my experience, it is much easier to do this if you have a healthy self-esteem.

For many years people have been telling me that I am very confident. My response has always been the same “Not really, I am just a normal person. Sometimes I feel confident and sometimes I push it”. However, in 2018, I was asked to facilitate a Women in Leadership initiative where 100 women attended, and the experience changed my assumptions. During the forum, I heard so many women state that they find it hard not to start a sentence with “I am sorry” and that they struggled to identify their value and as such, were not backing themselves. The lovely bubble that I had lived my life in was smashed as I had no idea that so many women struggle with self-doubt.

Now I acknowledge that this issue not only impacts women. However, in general self-doubt is more prevalent in women than men, so I wanted to share some tips on improving women’s perception of their own self-worth and what they bring to the table.

1. Know Yourself - Building self-esteem first involves knowing who you are: identifying what you like, knowing what you want out of life, and developing an awareness of how your past experiences have shaped the person you are today. It requires paying attention to how you treat yourself and developing an awareness of the internal messages you grapple with. Embracing this might pose a rewarding challenge, for it entails embarking on a voyage demanding sincere self-reflection, introspection, and a profound sense of self-awareness. Yet, attaining a genuine comprehension of your values, strengths, and areas of growth will not only nurture your self-esteem but also fortify your resilience, enabling you to confidently embrace the path of your life's choices with a sense of pride and alignment.

2. Care for Yourself - Developing healthy self-esteem also encompasses recognizing how powerful your internal voice is and learning to rewire your brain by developing more effective thinking patterns. It involves acting as your own cheerleader and being mindful that things such as diet, exercise, sleep, and setting realistic expectations all play a role in how you feel about yourself. It's important to acknowledge that saying no is perfectly acceptable. Trust your instincts. Voice your feelings: shout it out loud when you're tired, uneasy, or swamped! Some may not like it but in order to be present for your children, partner, family, friends, colleagues, and acquaintances, it's vital to prioritise your own needs.

3. Respect Yourself - Respecting yourself is vital to maintaining a healthy self-esteem. It involves assessing and upholding your values without sacrificing your well-being to please others. It’s about developing trust in yourself and learning skills to become more assertive.

4. Accept Yourself - Fostering healthy self-esteem involves acknowledging your limits and imperfections, accepting mistakes, and learning to deal with criticisms more effectively. It necessitates knowing your threshold for stress, developing self-compassion, and forgiving yourself for faults or missteps. Embracing who you are, flaws and all, is the gateway to true self-acceptance and inner harmony. Look in the mirror every morning and tell yourself you are enough….because you are!

Building a healthy self-esteem is a journey and will not happen overnight. In my experience, you need to continually work on it and acknowledge that you will make mistakes along the way and that is okay – we all do and that’s what makes us human. However, aways understand that you are unique and what you offer the world is different from anyone else so be loud and proud of who you are.